My precious Max

I was halfway through my shower when my phone rang incessantly.  My heart was heavy,I heard her cry through the phone. ” Its Max “, she said. My heart sank and I could hardly breath. I barked that it was nothing. I said he was going to be okay and nothing was wrong. She whimpered. “Renal failure they said”, she cried. Why him? He was one of the most kind hearted and affectionate dog. He was a baby when he came home, I remember that day when I first saw him. He was shy and reluctant at first but just took him few minutes to become a biggest part of my life and I his. He would have long conversations with me or complain about his day, he’d bring a bottle or his ball to play with or jump into my arms when he saw me. He loved me unconditionally and all he ever wanted was my time. I just had to sit next to him, anywhere,and it made him happy. Often times he would accompany my late night baking orders and he would be treated with his favourite cookie or a bone. He would wait tirelessly even when he would be very sleepy until I give him a go.Max was who I woke up to and kissed goodnight for years. He was adored by all.

10 days of hell.. In and out of hospitals, doctors visiting home, needles piercing through his skin, the smell of medicine and the look on his face, was killing me on the inside. I couldn’t watch him this way. It was making me go insane. He wobbled as he tried to get up and lie on my lap. Lying down next to him was what I looked forward to every night. I told him stories of him growing up, about how I hated to see him in pain and how much I love him.

The dreaded day came, his blood reports, showed that his health was deteriorating. Today it came to my decision to let him be in pain or put him to sleep. I was firm.. I was not going to put him to sleep. 

I placed my hand on his heart and I told him, “Baby I am ready.. I can’t see you in pain any more.. I can’t put you down. Please don’t stay. These needles piercing your skin; I hate it.”

I wrote this when he was still alive. Tonight, he is no more. He was always obedient and he continued it until death. He waited for me and passed away. 

I loved him with all my heart and the thought of not seeing him anymore kills me. But I know he is my angel and he will always guide me and be there in my heart.

I will miss him. 

R.I.P my precious.

Hope to see you in heaven. We’ll spend more time there. 

-Sue

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